看element-ui给的例子trigger可以取’change’，'blur’等值，但是并不是所有的验证项都可以被这样触发，如何主动控制触发验证呢？

可以使用validateField。看element-ui自定义验证里面就有一个例子，在“密码”不为空的时候去验证“确认密码”字段：

<el-form :model="ruleForm" status-icon :rules="rules" ref="ruleForm" label-width="100px" class="demo-ruleForm">
  <el-form-item label="密码" prop="pass">
    <el-input type="password" v-model="ruleForm.pass" autocomplete="off"></el-input>
  </el-form-item>
  <el-form-item label="确认密码" prop="checkPass">
    <el-input type="password" v-model="ruleForm.checkPass" autocomplete="off"></el-input>
  </el-form-item>
  <el-form-item label="年龄" prop="age">
    <el-input v-model.number="ruleForm.age"></el-input>
  </el-form-item>
  <el-form-item>
    <el-button type="primary" @click="submitForm('ruleForm')">提交</el-button>
    <el-button @click="resetForm('ruleForm')">重置</el-button>
  </el-form-item>
</el-form>
<script>
  export default {
    data() {
      var checkAge = (rule, value, callback) => {
        if (!value) {
          return callback(new Error('年龄不能为空'));
        }
        setTimeout(() => {
          if (!Number.isInteger(value)) {
            callback(new Error('请输入数字值'));
          } else {
            if (value < 18) {
              callback(new Error('必须年满18岁'));
            } else {
              callback();
            }
          }
        }, 1000);
      };
	var vaildatePass = (rule,value,callback) =>{
		if (value === '') {
		   callback(new Error('请输入密码'));
		} else {
			if (this.ruleFrom2.checkPass !== '') {
				this.$refs.ruleForm2.validateField('checkPass')
			}
		}
	};
	var validatePass2 = (rule, value, callback) => {
        if (value === '') {
          callback(new Error('请再次输入密码'));
        } else if (value !== this.ruleForm.pass) {
          callback(new Error('两次输入密码不一致!'));
        } else {
          callback();
        }
      };
      return {
        ruleForm: {
          pass: '',
          checkPass: '',
          age: ''
        },
        rules: {
          pass: [
            { validator: validatePass, trigger: 'blur' }
          ],
          checkPass: [
            { validator: validatePass2, trigger: 'blur' }
          ],
          age: [
            { validator: checkAge, trigger: 'blur' }
          ]
        }
      };
    },
    methods: {
      submitForm(formName) {
        this.$refs[formName].validate((valid) => {
          if (valid) {
            alert('submit!');
          } else {
            console.log('error submit!!');
            return false;
          }
        });
      },
      resetForm(formName) {
        this.$refs[formName].resetFields();
      }
    }
  }
</script>

所以可以在主动验证的地方调用this.refs[formName].validateField(‘验证字段名’)